Rock
Scissors
Fuck
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Randomize
