Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
