ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
