My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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