I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
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