just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
