you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize