she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
50% drunk capacity currently
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
