I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
