were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I want to fling myself into the sun
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
