She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
