she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize