dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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