So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
