the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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