Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
