We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize