On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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