There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
