well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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