All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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