These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
