I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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