But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
