Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
