so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
