..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
