suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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