If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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