what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
should my penis look like a turkey
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
