just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
And my parents said I crawled through the house
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
