god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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