Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
