hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
