i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize
