guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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