Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
