I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
