I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize