honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
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