Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
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