This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
