doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
