I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
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