Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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