I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I deserve this hangover.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize