I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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