yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Randomize
