we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
