After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Randomize
