a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Randomize
