I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
