conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
