I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Randomize
