yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
