We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
