I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Randomize