The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
