i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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